Chapter 34: Black & White

Dear readers,

There are times where I just wish everything could be simpler. I yearn for the days to pass without complication, the days where straight-forward decisions can be made without any regret coming to mind later down the line. Sometimes I feel like every question should be answered with a simple yes or no answer with nothing in between allowed. But how is that possible when there is so much to think about, so much to ponder, a yes or no answer doesn’t cut it without justification for the decision, as if you need to have a reason in order to express your opinion, as if your opinion is nothing unless to someone else it sounds logical.

Why can’t everything be so simple, for every event to happen to have a reason to go with it, unquestionable and formed on solid ground. But complication, over-thinking the situation, making something irrelevant into something that’s a big deal, uncertainty if what my eyes see and what my ears hear are either pure with nothing unambiguous about it or shrouded in a veil, covering the truth and all I can think of is “my God, this is a facade!”

Why is this so stressful? I crave the simple yes or no answers but before I find my answers, I have to go on a journey to discover the events leading to the answers. I don’t want to go on a journey, I want the story to be as short as possible, why do people have to beat around the bush and try to veil the truth. Just tell me what I want to hear and I can put this behind me, I hate being kept in limbo or being lead on, just cut to the chase, give me the answers I want and let me get on with my business in peace.

If life was theoretical, decisions would be straight-forward, you would know the outcome of the decisions you were making and those outcomes would occur to the letter. If life was theoretical, it would be about getting to A to B but life just ain’t that cut and dried. Instead of going to B, you might have to go to C then to D, perhaps have to go back to A and start all over again before getting to B. I yearn for the days without complication but there would be no challenge to overcome, no mountain to climb, no race to finish if things were so black and white.

But this is crazy, I feel like I want things to be black and white, to ignore the colours and be able to focus on the subject of the matter, I want to remove the complexity, I want to get rid of the shrouds, I want to strip the matter down to the basics and nothing more. How easy is that though? I might end up further away from the truth than were I was in the first place. In times like this, I need help, I have to understand that black and white on its own is unimaginative, I have to use the other colours to create a painting, a masterpiece full of all the answers I’ve been craving for.

At the end of the day, some situations require specific decisions, needing only black and white but others aren’t as rigid as that and for them, they require more colours, more work into finding the picture that’s right for you. All these situations and all these paintings take time to get through but with diligence, all the questions you originally had will be answered.

Dr. R


Author: Dwayne Bickersteth

I like to write. I like to take pictures. That is all.

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