2016 is here and I’m sure lots of people have been thinking about New Years’ resolutions. This month, people across the world will be trying to mark the new year by casting away their inner demons and getting a grip on their indulgences. For a lot of people, they’ll be saying “new year, new me” like it’s their new motto in life, full of confidence that whatever resolution they made, they’ll keep to it and feel better in the process.
That’s what’s supposed to happen in theory but in practice, Operation New Years’ resolutions ends up as Operation Get Turnt & Forget You Even Made Any Resolutions. The “new year, new me” is so cliche, a wedge of cheese has the grated over the phrase to show how incredibly cheesy it is. Seriously, how many times have you heard that phrase from someone you know and deep down, you’re thinking “bitch please, I know you already broke your resolutions before you even thought of them”. I’m not a fake person, I don’t have to reinvent myself into someone I’m not, I know how not to act like a fuckboy, the sort of guy who spends his entire wages on flashy trainers and fancy clothes in order to chat up girls when he doesn’t even have enough food in his fridge to keep himself fed. I didn’t know just because it’s January, you have to make a pinky promise to yourself not to fuck up for the year or even because everyone else is doing it and you want to fit in and as for you lot making resolutions because you want to sound relevant, please slap yourselves right now, I don’t accept that kind of foolishness.
You might think I’m being moody for no reason but really I’m being a realist (or pessimist if you already hate me for what I’ve already said). I don’t buy putting myself in a fantasy world full of unicorns and rainbows where everyone is always happy and we sit around having tea parties all the times and everyone lives happily ever after because number one, I must be as high as a kite, tripping on the dankest weed to believe in that farce and number two, I’m don’t need to go to the fantasy world because I’m not trying to escape the reality.
It’s a new year but I’m still the same guy, why change something that isn’t broken? I don’t get the “new year, new me” phrase any more, it’s just looks like an excuse for a load of people to act like they’re the most righteous people in the world but after a few weeks or even a few days, they’re really just hypocrites running their mouths for no reason. Plus, if you’re talking crap about other people doing the things that you’ll eventually end up doing too, please slap yourselves again, I don’t accept this kind of foolishness either.
In short, resolutions for the New Year are overrated, now if you excuse me, I have to think of some resolutions that I know I’ll fail within the end of this month.