Lethal Bizzle – Pow (Forward Riddim)

I love grime, I can’t put it any other way. I’ve grown up listening to it and seen the buzz and the hype it creates. It might not the most popular of genres or the most understood but it’s my genre and I’ve grown to embrace it. At times, it’s intense, rebellious, controversial, dark but if it wasn’t that way, certain things that have happened in the past wouldn’t be so poignant and grime might have had a totally different new look here in the present day. Now for the first time, I’ve noticed that grime is starting to get genuine recognition amongst the mainstream of music which has been overdue but prior to that, its music stayed under the radar. In the days of pirate radio stations, clashing between different collectives to see who was hot and who was not and MCs just rapping for the fun of it, grime played a part in shaping the culture in London and today, it still does.

So because of that, I decided I wanted to incorporate my favoured genre of music into my blog, making a new section called Grimey Mondays where every Monday, I put up a grime tune from the past that have gained legendary status. These are the sort of songs that all fans of the genre will know about. The archives of grime are full of bangers, hopefully one week at a time, I’ll pluck them out, dust them off and bring them to the present.

So what to choose as my inaugural song for this section in The Journal? It was a hard choice, I need to make an impact. After a few changes, I’ve gone with the ‘pow’. This is the sort of tune you listen to before you go to the gym or go for a run, the sort of tune that gets you out of bed and ready to face the day. An old school classic, a beat and a bunch of MCs in full flow, you don’t hear beats like this nowadays. Who knows, maybe I’ll convert a person or two to grime by doing this.

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You Know The Things About…Vine

Vine, that little app on your phone that literally gives you 6 seconds of fame. Those 6 seconds are precious, you can choose to do whatever your mind desires and bring it to life, either very well, extremely well or so well it turns viral, making the days of millions of people and because Vine is an app that keeps on giving like the abundance of goodies you get when you visit grandma’s house, once the video is done, it repeats itself over and over again so you can sit back and laugh your guts or watch in awe the tricks Vine has up its sleeve. Here are some things you should know if you are budding new Viner.

1) Vining is more difficult than you expect

It’s just talking whilst looking at a camera recording you do things, wrong! Being a Viner is more troublesome than you would imagine, it may seem easy at first but sometimes such videos you come up with require meticulous preparation and just jumping into it just doesn’t work. Plan your ideas beforehand otherwise you end up with a sloppy end product which you’re not happy with and people viewing the end product treating it as good for nothing. To be creative require patience, the best things in life are those that had some sort of thought process before the it came to existence so for you to utilise such creativity, you must find inspiration rather than just force the bloody thing to happen.

2) 6 seconds is not a long period of time

So you have a great(stupid) idea for a Vine and you jump right into it, problem is that you can’t exactly fit everything in. Whatever you do just imagine that your ideas are obese, overweight, bloated monstrosities that needs to be tamed for it is too big to fit through the doors, too heavy to ride a roller-coaster, too fat to control their eating habits, if you want to get the grasp of Vine, put your ideas on a diet so that they slim down for the 6 second limit. If Vine didn’t do this, the floodgates would open and all kinds of whimsical adventures would be spluttered across the app, too eccentric for it to handle.

3) The stranger, the better

If you want attention, you’re going to have to earn that attention and I don’t think talking about the boring day-to-day dealings of your life is exactly going to pull the viewers so I say the more unique you allow yourself to be, the more enjoyable it will be you and for others. Creativity runs wide in the world of Vine, go nuts, go crazy, lose your marbles, find them and lose them again so that your Vines rake in the views. Believe me, at first, when you put together a video you think is strange and makes no sense, don’t get rid of it, style it out to make it into something out of the box and unique. There are people who love strange quirks and in the realm of Vine, quirkiness is rewarded, sometimes to great effect.

4) Don’t expect to get what you want in one take

Perfectionism on Vine is one thing but to be able to get what you at the first attempt is very difficult to do, so much so that if this event happens to you, the achievement unlocked message you get when you’re playing on the Xbox should appear to give you a pat on the back. The truth is as the humans we are we make mistakes. Whether its slurring our words, forgetting the most important part of the story or not getting the timing right for something spectacular, it can be annoying but if you stick with it, your creations will leave you filled with a feeling of satisfaction. Even the best Viners out there make mistakes but they refined their ideas if they had to make their videos work, pragmatism will get you far so maximise it.

5) Please don’t be a RE-Viner

There are other things to do with the app, you can like other people’s videos, you can share them on Facebook and Twitter and you can re-vine them onto your page but that brings an issue I see a lot on Vine. Too many people using other people’s videos on their page without contribution on their part. What are you if you’re doing that? Are you too lazy that you can’t be bothered to make a Vine and post or is the imagination in your brain out of juice, in need of a recharge. Re-vining is alright but you’re not going to be famous by copying other people’s stuff and putting it on your own wall.

Put in work!

As A$AP Ferg would say, put in work!!! If you don’t put in work on Vine, you be trippin’ in life. French Montana, Trinidad James, ScHoolboy Q and A$AP Rocky know the ways of work. Just put in work, nuff said!

7) Don’t pay for your followers, likes or revines!

Just don’t do it, don’t even think about otherwise Chuck Norris will come and slap the shit out of you! Don’t be so shallow and desperate for attention that you follow one of many, many accounts on Vine advertising how they can boost your number of followers, likes and revines. With Vine, fake accounts are everywhere, you run away from one into the grasp of another dozen. You tell them you’re not interested when they follow you and trust me, it will feel as if the accounts regenerate like The Doctor in Doctor Who, accounts regenerating into new ones with different names all with the aim of bombarding you with messages to boost your views, my advice to them is to politely tell them to fuck off. I’m being serious, use exclamation marks and emojis to show them that such bullshit will not be tolerated, laying down the law on their arses!

Vine 101, class is finished, time for recess.

You Know The Things About…Candy Crush Saga

You know about Candy Crush, everyone knows about Candy Crush, that sweet, colourful and most importantly, addictive game which drives you insane in the membrane when you can’t complete levels. If you have no idea what the hell Candy Crush is, you must be wondering what the fuss is about. Why the hell do random people on the train get frustrated with their phones whilst you travel to wherever you’re going? Here are some things both novices and experienced pros should know.

1) Candy Crush will fuck you up

Excuse my french but I’m convinced that the game has been designed in such a way that when you’re on the verge on completing a level, it tries to mess things up for you on purpose. Say you just need to get one more nut/cherry down down the bottom to complete the level, instead of sending the candies you need, it sends the ones you don’t need, forcing you the waste moves trying to get rid of them. Then when you fail the level, it tells you needed one more ingredient as if it’s your fault you failed! Then it does the same thing again before eventually you run out of lives and have to wait for the lives to recharge.

2) Candy Crush will definitely fuck you up

Excuse my french again but this game will drive you insane at the amount of bullshit it throws at you. The jelly levels are killers, for a start just when you think it’s all gone, jelly magically appears from nowhere and not in a easy place to clear but in a corner with no candies around that match. Jelly that has icing covering it is Candy Crush doing an impression of your local train operator delaying your train for no reason and then when it looks like the train is on its way, finding out its been cancelled, in short, if you see jelly + icing, Candy Crush is slapping you in the face, without boosters, your progress is going to be stuck in the mud. The licorice is not only pointless but tenacious, when you think they’re all gone, it reproduces again at double the rate as before, it’s like playing Whack A Mole, no matter how many moles you whack, they keep on coming back. The licorice boxes that cover candies will have you like ‘bruh, I thought my life couldn’t get harder and now it has’. The teleporters represent a game of roulette, they can either make you or break you and in the more part, they will break you like how you will break your keyboard like the warriors you are because this game may seem harmless at first but in fact, it’s one of the most stressful tasks in daily life.

3) The Daily Booster Wheel is a bastard

The wheel of fortune, it’s a win-win situation because you cannot lose, you win a prize at the end of the day. I say wrong because I believe that this game tracks your progress, including the level that you’re on so when you use the wheel, it gives the one prize that you don’t need. It gives you a lollipop hammer when you can’t use it or a jelly fish when it’s not available. Hence why the wheel is a bastard, you expect it to help you but really it laughs at you when you don’t get what you want and then here comes the salt onto the wound, it asks you to try again tomorrow, patronising you to the fullest. How many times have you ever hit the jackpot? What’s the point of it being there when you don’t even get the chance to use it?

4) Candy Crush is expensive

Boosters come few and far between, the same comes with lives if you don’t want to wait for them to recharge. This is where the money inside your wallets suddenly jumps out and tells you to spend them on Candy Crush like a bunch of overexcited little kids who have just realised that they’re going to DisneyLand and are waking up their parents to get ready even though Mum & Dad have only just booked the holiday. Listen to the voice of reason, don’t spend too much and bankrupt yourself, how pathetic would that be, at least if you’re going to financially ruin yourself, do it with drunken pizzazz and brash confident in a casino with friends just as drunk and stupid as you, not crying alone in your bedroom, wondering why you spent so much money.

5) My God, it’s addictive

‘One game, just one game, then I’m done’. WRONG, it’s never like that, you play one game and it will turn into at least 100 games, whatever plans you had will turn into dust when Candy Crush comes calling. Kooky cravings don’t have shit on Candy Crush and even when you get your fix, you’re still left wanting more, it’s irresistible like chocolate, fuck healthy eating and give into the chocolate, surrender to the chocolate and surrender to this game! The more you resist, the harder it will pull you in like a tractor beam, there’s no escape from Tiffi, Mr. Toffee or the rest the CC squad. This game is more addictive than you think and when you think about, if there was no CC, what would replace it? A social life? More productivity? A healthier wallet? Control of your life? Why would you have any of those pointless things when you could spend your days wasting away playing a game, sounds like a barrel of fun if you ask me.

6) The stars and the leaderboard

The stars in themselves can be annoying, when you complete a level, you either get one, two or three stars and when you don’t all 3, it’s annoying because it’s a blemish on a spotless record, you will never feel complete until you complete that level with a 3 star rating. Levels with only one or two next to them don’t mean anything, the real glory is those with three stars, they are the ones that count, the moral here, if you’re gonna win, do it convincingly. As for the leaderboard, this is pretty much a leaderboard full of egos in the sense that whoever is at the top has the biggest one because they completed the really difficult level like a boss and those below are peasants. Seeing yourself near the bottom will drive you mad, forcing you to complete the level again but gain more points to raise up the leaderboard without thinking you put yourself at risk of losing yet more lives. I told you before, this game will fuck you up.

7) Candy Crush should be 16+

This should be made law, no child under 16 should be allowed to use CC because they wouldn’t go to sleep, they wouldn’t go to school or pay attention in school, they wouldn’t eat, they wouldn’t drink, they wouldn’t talk to anyone and they would spend every last penny that they had on CC. You end up with a generation of zombie children, dress them up like Nazis and take CC away from them and you could play a real life game of Call Of Duty: Nazi Zombies complete with the mystery box of weapons. A least when you’re 16+, you have some sort of control but for a kid, the transformation from human to zombie is startlingly quick.

Those are some things to know about Candy Crush, you got that.

 

You Know The Things About…

You know how annoying…..

You know how silly…..

You know how strange…..

You know how weird…..

 

Can’t understand why certain people drive you up the wall or struggling to work out phenomenons out of your comprehension, this is the place to be. This is a new section being added to the Journal. Hopefully, the artwork will be up soon, The Doc has something special planned for that but in short, stay alert as this space gets filled by the things that really grind gears to a halt.

Keep your eyes peeled people.