Chapter 32: Demons

Dear readers,

“They” lurk behind us like the shadows that come to play at night, twisting and contorting our minds, our eyes seeing a much different reality to what is actually going on. As kids, this is the stuff of nightmares, the grip on snuggly blankets tighten and quiet whimpers of fear fill the air as “they” make mind games that run their course, playing out an enticing story. But as you flick through the pages, the story that enticed you before seems so surreal, so strange that to believe the events unfurling themselves for us to see the decrees inked onto the reality would send shivers down the spine, as if the decrees had turned into degrees that strayed towards the frosty side of 32, a wretch of a situation, causing you to be frozen in the moment. Sometimes you just have to let it go in order to re-establish a peace of mind but when you’re frozen in the moment like a deer staring into the headlights of a car, the surrealism of the story takes a dramatic turn, meandering to a point where you get those shivers that jolt the spine, turning the dreamworld into the real world. To go through all that, all those emotions to juggle, I guess that’s pretty rough & having to tussle with what’s real and what’s not, I guess that’s pretty tough. Knowing your North from your South and your East from your West should keep you going in the right direction but minds fatigued from the mind games that “they” have fabricated will feel like “they” are lurking behind us in the shadows, away from our watchful eyes.

Who are “they” you ask? Why is their identity hidden? What agenda do “they” have against us? Sometimes, things happen to us that we either can’t explain or we can’t understand. Sometimes, our actions speak volumes that words could only dream to beat and it feels like a devil and an angel sit on either shoulder. The devil tells you to do one thing but the angel advises otherwise, who do you listen to? This is especially tricky in a situation where it feels like you have to pick between one or another. To be honest with you, as an Aries, I can’t really help as I’m too headstrong, I pick a side and I stick to it, even though the results are lopsided, maybe you should find a Libra to help you balance the scales and allow you to stay free from bias. But when the deed is done, you wonder to yourself if you made the right call, whether you made a balanced decision or not or did you let your emotions get the better of you and later on regret your actions. In these unfortunate of occasions, this is where “they” come out to play, out of the shadows and make you think about your actions at every passing moment. You ask yourself, maybe if I had done something a bit differently, I wouldn’t feel as guilty as I feel now. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and perhaps months into years but still, “they” are still burrowed inside your heads, the memory of that fateful day burns strong like fire, the visions of those events remain etched in your conscience.

This is some really deep thinking but I guess I’ve learnt that running away from your problems, running away from the mind games, won’t bring you peace. Only by playing and beating them can you possibly loosen the shackles that are bearing you down and when that happens, “they” who were bringing you turmoil will go back to the shadows. They will have no agenda and as for their identity, it will matter no more. With the heavy shackles removed, it will feel like weight has been lifted off your shoulders and speaking of shoulders, what of the quarrelling devil and angel? Once they were there telling you what to do, now you’re in charge and you’re telling them to disappear, out of sight and out of mind. If you are lucky, you can let go of your worries looking forward to taking the new steps of your journey.

So if you’re down, get up. If you’re up, don’t get knocked down but if you’re somewhere in between, that’s okay because you’ve got the scales perfectly balanced, the tears of joy perfectly match the tears of despair, equilibrium prevails just like the ying and the yang, but somewhere down the road, the demons will return and try to mess with your head again. Oh, did I say demons, I guess “they” have come out to play again.

Dr. R

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Author: Dwayne Bickersteth

I like to write. I like to take pictures. That is all.

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